New Development...

Pardon my laziness in not posting about the camping trip. I now have a very ucky summer cold that is currently causing me to feel as if setting my hair a'blaze would make my head feel better. I have no idea where my camera is, so that post will have to wait until I feel well enough to find it.

On to the new development...

My step daughter, age 11, has been dropping comments about wishing she could live with us full time for just over a year now. She even told my mom last summer that she would rather live with us. This past weekend, while camping together as a family, she finally made her wishes be known to everyone. We (my husband and I) had never put too much weight on her wishes prior to this weekend because it felt as though they were just passing comments. This weekend, however, was much different.

She was very adamant that she wants to be here. With us. Full time. She spent hours talking with us about what things would change in her world if it happened. She explained the reasons that she wants to live with us as well as an eleven year old girl can. The big reasons are:

• There are more rules at our house and she likes that. (WHAT?!) She said she knows what to expect day to day and what is expected of her. She knows what she can do and what she can't do and knowing all these things make her feel more comfortable and at ease.
• Our family is very tight-knit and close with one another. We spend lots of time together every day and we do lots of activities together as a family. She feels like an important part of a family here and at her mother's house, she explained that everyone basically does their own thing. They are all individuals with different likes and that leaves her alone in her room, a lot.
• At our house, she has 2 younger sisters. At her mother's house, she has an older brother and a younger brother. Her mom is very much a tom-boy. Their house is full of testosterone and everything that comes along with it. We do plenty of 'girly' things here at our house because I'm pretty 'girly' and so are my daughters. Her mother doesn't cook. I cook every day and have at least one child by my side when I'm doing it.

There were several other less-important reasons that she listed, like she wants to go to school with Ivy (they'll both be in middle school). And she wants to be the oldest child instead of the middle child. And she's lived with her mom her whole life and now wants to live with us.

We told her that as long as this is her wish, we will do everything in our power to make it happen. She spoke with her mother about it last night and, of course, all hell broke loose. Poor kid. Her mother had the audacity to say some very nasty things and basically tried to guilt her into not wanting to live here. I say 'tried' because it didn't work! It only succeeded in making Nadia angry. She was very upset at what her mother said and understandably so!

I spoke with her this morning and she cried. I listened intently when she explained what happened. I asked her if she wanted to continue or if she would prefer to just leave things as they are. I made sure to tell her that she can back down at any moment because I understand just how hard this can be for her. She piped up and told me that she wanted to come now more than ever. Her mother really angered her and only succeeded in pushing her away.

Her mother sent my husband a rather nasty email this morning. Of course, my husband responded in a very mature, but extremely articulate way. He outlined his points very well. I spent my morning calling attorney after attorney. It appears that in the eyes of a judge, an eleven year old is not mature enough to tell a judge what she wants. At least, the judge won't put any weight on what she says at this age.

So, basically, we can take her to court if we want to. But we'll lose the case and about $5,000.00! I really don't care about the money as much as I care about Nadia's happiness. I would hate to spend that money knowing we don't have a chance in heck of winning.

I'm really angry about this. There have been so many instances where my husband has had no say or very little say in any of this business with his ex simply because he's the man. It's ridiculous! So what if Nadia is not being abused... GOOD! I'm glad she doesn't have a terrible life over there, but does that negate the fact that she still would rather be with us? That's unfair. Really unfair.

Courts, judges, and ex-wives SUCK ROCKS.